My best friend gave me a huge compliment yesterday. She said the reason she thinks I have so many friends is because I’m the most accepting and open-minded person she’s ever known. Right at that moment, I was sitting my butt on the toilet (we were taking a girl potty break, okay?) and smiling ear to ear. That is probably the nicest thing anyone could say to me. Hearing I’m pretty and skinny and have nice boobs is pretty nice too, but this may be even nicer.
Part of me is still naive and upset that everybody in the world can’t just get along. It’s a ridiculous and indulgent wish, but it’s my wish. I was voicing this frustration to Kat yesterday and this is how the conversation began. She also mentioned that I’ve met so many different kinds of people. I do hang out with a lot of different types of people. I’ve learned, by trying to mix all the groups and make everyone be in the same little happy la-la land that I am in, that not all of my groups mix very well. In fact, trying to mix groups usually ends in ‘She’s annoying.’ or ‘He’s obnoxious.’ or ‘That party was too loud.’ or ‘They were boring.’ Sigh. I’ve learned through experience, that acceptance is not something that comes naturally to people. We have to really work at it,strive for it, and here’s the kicker–want it.
And I don’t think that the problem is usually that we don’t want to accept…it’s our fear that we won’t be accepted. So we put up a front. An ‘Oh-I’m-better-than-them-because-I’m-a-bad-ass.” front because we’re scared. We are scared of being rejected, of being laughed at or told we don’t belong. So we stick to our friends, our bubble, and our point of views. I decided, somewhere along the line, to stop being like that. To open my mind and my heart and if I was gonna get hurt, well that’s life. What I’ve gotten in return has been more than worth it. I’ve learned that for the most part, if you set out to love people, they will love you back. It took me a while to find my niche. One of my faults is that I’m too damn nice. (exception is my husband, fault there is that I’m too damn mean.) I have an extremely hard time being mean to anyone or putting my foot down,and people don’t always like that. People with chips on their shoulders don’t like happiness either. They will pull and push at you until you break. There is always going to be someone who genuinely doesn’t want what’s best for you. In that case, Ignore that shit and move on.
I don’t know anymore if people for the most part are good or not. But I know they’re interesting. I know each one of us has a hell of a story to tell. I know that we all come from somewhere, have our reasons, have loved somebody with our whole heart and have gone through tremendous amounts of pain. I know we’re all human and all make mistakes. Through all of our differences, we are not that different. My reason for acceptance is this: I want to hear the stories. I want to know the reasons, where you come from, who you loved and what you’ve gone through. I want to make people happy. I want to understand not just who I am, but who everyone else is as well. If I can go through life and help somebody by just listening with an open heart, this makes me an even happier girl.
And if I can meet some amazing people along the way? If I have the chance to make penis shaped funnel cakes and hang out with a group of talented podcasters and be very loved and laugh my little ass off all of the time? Than that’s just some of the many benefits of acceptance, I suppose.