I turn twenty-one in a month. Twenty one, y’all! In light of this and as twenty has been the best as well as most enlightening of my entire life, thought I’d share what I’ve learned this year so far. Spiced up with unorganized pictures of my weekend to make your eyes happy and to show off some of my lovely friends.
-Friends are just as/more important than significant others. I would usually say more than but now that I’m married I’d say just as important. Friends, true friends, ain’t gonna leave when the going gets rough. They accept you for your faults and will be there even at the roughest points. Getting some is never a reason to stay and they love you when you are the hardest to love. They will hold your hair up (more than once!) when you’re puking, bring roses to your work to make another guy jealous, cry with you, laugh with you until both of you pee your pants, do things they’d rather not do for you, and love you in a way that a lover just can’t. My husband is still a little jealous of the devotion I have to my friends; They are my seconds loves and will always be a huge part of my world.
They are unconditional in a way that a relationship could never be and I’m proud to say I have not only a support system but a freakin’ army. I’ve had more than one friend try to lean solely on me after a bad break-up and as much as I try to be a support I am in no way a system. You need your friends, your support system, your army. I’ve learned not to ever get so wrapped up in a relationship, as good as it may be, that I forget about the ones who will be there whether or not a significant other lasts.
-I can’t fix everything and more importantly, everybody. It’s not my job to make everybody like everyone else and it’s damn near impossible to ever please everyone. It’s not my responsibility to always be a people pleaser or to make everyone as happy as I am. People are not projects or fixer uppers and usually when they’re broken, they want to stay that way.
– Bite more than you can chew. Just don’t swallow. Try a little bit of everything, jump into something too fast or too deep. Take chances, go everywhere, put things on your plate you can’t always finish. I’m only going to live once, and I want to handle and do as much as I possibly can in the short time that I’m here. Work two jobs, go to school, tackle all this with friends and family and a husband in the mix too. & then when it gets too hard to handle and you need a break…Spit just a little out ’til you’re ready to chew it all again. (Gross metaphor?)
– Love isn’t always intense and filled with so many emotions that you feel your head will fly off. Sometimes it’s calm and soft. Sometimes it’s less of sweet whispers in the ear and more of loud snorts and giggles. Love is the most unconventional,make-it-yourself kind of deal there is out there. It’s different for everybody and no one can decide what it is for someone else. I’m to the point where it’s not a head rush or the million beats of the heart at once. It’s my best friend, a kiss on the cheek, falling asleep in his arms, a quick skip of the heart at just the right moment, really good sex, and being able to pee with the door open.
– I knew life was short, but now I understand it. I’ve always known this, but this year more than ever, I experienced death in ways that hit way closer to home than I ever really thought it could. I knew about death, I knew it happened to all of us…but I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand the indescribable pain or the feel of denial that comes along with it. I get it now. Life is short, for real. Make sure to live.
– People,and it seems especially girls, are way more alike than any of us care admit. The way we handle it may be different, but the feelings– the anger and jealousy and sadness–It’s all relative.
(The food served to us at Jason’s last night was incredible. Kudos to the girls who can cook! Chicken, stuffed with cream cheese and wrapped with bacon. Mmmm. I hate veggies and even adored the buttery asparagus.)
-I am not definable. None of us are. I was happy with my fortune cookie today. It told me “You are strong and sensitive.” These two words don’t seem to really go together but I thought it was perfect. I am a strong, determined woman. I am a sensitive, scared little girl. We are all paradoxical in a million different ways and I will not allow anyone, myself especially, to put me in a box. I cannot be packaged or labeled.
– I don’t have to be perfect and I don’t have to always reach every goal on the exact day and time I said I would. I don’t have to follow anyone’s rules and I’m allowed to break some of mine now and then. I don’t have to feel guilty when someone doesn’t agree with me or who I’m hanging around nor do I have to feel bad when things go completely wrong somedays. I have to be happy, I have to have people in my life who are happy to be around me, and I have to be happy to be who I am. I’m almost completely there now.
Part two of this coming before my 21st. I’ve learned a lot!