The Good & The Bad: Living with a Boy

I went to my parents last night and my brother had to interview husband and I for a marriage study he’s doing at school. Ironic because Robby and I also just participated in a marriage study last week at UT. Brother just asked us questions while the legit marriage study actually recorded us repeatedly on camera, but the questions were mostly on the same level. “What do you like about being married?” “What has been the biggest struggle of marriage so far?” These questions seemed rather irrevelant as we have been married only close to 6 months and had lived together so long that we knew beforehand our likes and dislikes. Bringing me to my favorite question. “What would you suggest all married couples do?” For this my husband answered, quickly and very wisely may I add, “Live together first.” Brother goes to the same Christian school I graduated from and has the same Bible teacher I did for this class. I’d like to see his eyeballs pop out of his head when he reads innocent little Christina lived with a boy for a year and a half. Hee. But really,aside from the eternal damnation and what-not, I couldn’t agree with my husband more. Living together was the best decision we could have made for our relationship. We found out about the other, every little miniscule detail and annoyance, without ever having the suffocation of being trapped.  We eased into the rabbit hole, and saved the killing or divorce that would have ensued if we jumped in.  That being said, and with two thumbs up from me, I’m sure it’s not right for everyone. Thought I’d share my list of both the good and bad of living with a boy,added with pictures of when we first moved in together and all.

The Good: Stealing their clothes. If I can’t find something to wear (which is often), I go straight to Robby’s side of the closet. I love getting warm in his sweaters, feeling tiny and secure in how oversized it is on me. This works not only for comfort but also as a fashion statement.  I love the simple chicness of a Hanes white t-shirt paired with tons  jewelry. You gotta get creative though. Just the other night was girls night and, alas,  I couldn’t find anything to wear. I rummaged through the husband’s side and found a button up shirt with the tags still attached. His mom bought it for him and it’s something that would sit there forever and collect dust if I didn’t take charge. So I turned it into a dress. Add a belt and leggings and wa-laa! You have yourself a girly outfit.

The Bad: Double the Laundry, and groceries to buy,And dishes to clean.Double the all around messiness of not one but two people, and it’s not always pretty.

(June ’08)

The Good: Having somebody to listen and talk to and laugh with,all of the time.  After a long day, a good day, a really bad day…I always have him to come home to and let everything out to. Kind of like a best friend/counselor who I get to sleep with. Convenient.

The Bad:Quiet time is interrupted. My boy is a much better listener than I am, and he also has much more patience. He’ll pause the tv for how ever long I am talking to listen intently to what I have to say. Me? Not so much. If I am in the middle of writing or watching a tv show, I need my peace and quiet. Sharing is huge once you live together, and you have to learn to share everything, even your sanity and silence.

(July ’08)

The Good: Sex. And a lot of it. And after and before, always having a cuddle buddy, a good kisser, and somebody who knows you like the back of their hand; or like only someone who lives with you can.

The Bad: Snoring and other little annoying things.  Farts and burps and other things you would rather not hear or see will eventually take place.  If you think you know someone now, I suggest living with them for a month or so. The mystery of a relationship quickly dissipates once you move in together.  For goodness sakes, we’re pooping in the same bathroom now. Doesn’t leave much to the imagination.

(July ’08)

The Good: Security and Help. For manly like things I need help with, he’s there. For helping me with math crap I don’t understand or a bill I forgot to pay, he’s there. I’m never scared at night, ever. I have him to protect me.

The Bad: I’ve always been pretty independent.  I like doing things on my own without a significant other tagging along and I am very adamant about hanging out with who I want to.  There’s some things that I will always get crap about, like hanging out alone with my best friend since highschool ,who just so happens to be a guy. My boy was never vocal about his dislike of me hanging alone with guys until we moved in together. You lose some freedom or will at least get crap about your freedom once the two of you are living under the same roof.

(June ’09)

The Good:Doing things together. Combining friends and having really cool parties with both groups . Getting presents addressed to the both of you. Making decisions like what Christmas tree to buy or whether to do Chinese or pizza for dinner one night.  A really good debate, partaking in the dark in bed, where you stay up ridiculously late because neither will let the other win. Making a mess while cooking together, Raising a puppy together,Laughing until you cry at some stupid youtube video, together. The togetherness of living with someone is just absolutely amazing and one of my favorite parts about living with my boy.

The Bad: The fights. And there will be fights,many many fights. When you both live together, fighting gets even trickier. Where do you go when you live in the same place and would rather be anywhere but with the person you live with? Usually another room works but if it’s a huge fight, you just want out. I have so many friends I know I could go to but because of my huge pride issues, I rarely do. I usually just drive around until we both calm down a bit, and once a police officer even found me in my car attempting to go to sleep. I haven’t tried dozing in my car since.

(July ’09)
What I’m getting at is that there will always be problems. He burps too loud, Somebody who doesn’t like him for her or her for him or that you live together at all, A big fight every now and again. But it’s part of the journey. Learning about someone like you do living with them, inside and out, it’s fun and emotional and exciting. It’s real and you’ll see someone for who they are, both good and bad. For me, it’s been so worth all the bad stuff it took to get to the close-to-perfect-as-it-gets place we’re in right now.

13 thoughts on “The Good & The Bad: Living with a Boy

  1. Kat says:

    in honor of our old vox blog, [this is good]

    “It’s real and you’ll see someone for who they are, both good and bad.” was a particularly quotable quote.

  2. Awww…you are getting off on the right foot. Just remember that love takes *work* – compromise, sacrifice, and a lot of ego boosting – but it’s so worth it in the long run. And it’s ok not to like your hubby (at least for a little while) after a knock down drag out fight…but you have to still love him…get it? 🙂

  3. Meg says:

    I love how all the picture go with the each little part. First one is obvious but the second one you look kinda haggard haha like you’re so exhausted from just figuring out how hard it is to live with someone. Then the third one you two are in relationship bliss because you have eachother to talk to and listen tooooo then the fourth one you’re both happy but you still look a little irritated with one another haha like “you just rudely burped in public but i still love you” then the next one you’re talking about independence and robby is acting a straight jacket in the picture hahaha. And the last one is cute and looks like you two finally figured most things out by the end of the blog. haha

    I’d have to agree with Kat [this is good]

  4. oc says:

    ‘Kind of like a best friend/counsellor you get to sleep with’. Awesome! Loved this! I agree with you and Robby one hundred percent, living together before marriage is essential. I would never even attempt marriage without that first. I however feel worse for the man I will one day live with…I admit quite honestly that I am no treat to live with. It’s a give and take but with the right person totally worth it. Xoxo me (drunk on your happiness)

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