Change, Sex on the beach, & what Stays the Same.

(Sarah’s 21st partyFun people. And her panties.)

I have a new phone.  I call it my toy. I still have my old phone because I don’t know the number on my new plaything. Need to figure that out. But it has more or less replaced my camera, my computer,and my ipod. It also has a steamy window application that I can write on and then blow on to make the ‘steam’ come back. Um. What will they think of next? I’m feeling like I’m getting to the point where I can say “Back in my day…(we scanned bar codes at the scanner in Walmart, not the ones on our phones. Also, we read books on paper. Not on our Android.) Sigh. Thought I’d catch y’all up on my life and show you some of the pictures from my new toy/phone.

(Kimber, me, and our new friend.)

I’ve been having a lot of fun lately. I love my Starbucks job, and I work with a lot of cool people. I usually work by myself closing but I have a few boys that either help me out or simply entertain me all night. I’m starting working day shifts and though I’ll miss my night guys, I’m ready to do the whole nine to five-ish thing. It means I’m growing up or some shit I think. Though I’m dreading my 7am shift. Getting up when it’s still dark startles me.  Outside of work, I have even more going on.  My community college girls and I have a weekly (this week it’ll be bi-weekly) trip to Serranos for 2.50 margaritas and 1.50 appetizers.  I’m going to miss community college. People will tell that you can’t make friends there, but hell,  they don’t know me or the people I hang around.  In fact, I just celebrated Miss Sarah’s 21st birthday, one of the closest friends I’ve met at ACC thus far. I’ve made many a buddy from my school, and I still sport my ‘I am ACC bracelet’ though everyone thinks I’m ridiculous for doing so.  Another thing I’ll miss is the secular teaching. I, for the most part, know what I believe and I really don’t like hearing it over and over again. Being at a secular school has really opened my eyes to so many different opinions and beliefs, and I’m glad I’ve had a chance to go before going back to the private school realm. Luckily, chapel is optional.

(Sex on the beach. In my tummy.)

I’m growing up too. I think I’ll always have a lot more growing to do,but from two years ago to where I am now, I’ve come a really long way. I’ve been hearing “I’m proud of you.” more than ever lately, and that means so much. But I think it means even more that I’m proud of myself, more proud than I’ve ever been. I’m proud of myself for getting into my dream school, for keeping my grades up and getting a good scholarship, for checking off things on my goal list weekly, for facing fears and metaphorically climbing mountains and all that. I’m proud of myself for other things too. I’ll always be extremely competitive, but the petty jealousies  and worries I’ve carried throughout my life I’ve finally let go;  I’ve learned dwelling on something that makes me less happy isn’t worth it and if I really wanted something enough, I’d have it. I’ve become much more carefree and though I’ve always been a pretty happy girl, right now I’m the happiest I’ve been since I was fifteen and my best friend (now in Maryland) was making pretend music videos with me. Speaking of which, she’ll  be here in a couple of months.

(Sarah’s friends were lovely, as you can see.)

I’m hoping to be all moved into our house by then. We just made an offer on a second home, one that I honestly fell in love with the moment I walked in the door.  There’s a place for my library of books, Walk-in closets in every room, and a giant fireplace. Since there’s no other offers, I think we may actually get this one. My head is filled with daydreams of decorating and making cupcakes for visitors. Maybe also pouring tequila for guests. I’ll be like Betsy homemaker with a big twist.

(I was trying to be sexy. I look scared.)

Through all of this growing up and working and house buying and university acceptance…I can’t help but think of a younger version of me. How excited she would be to see where I’m at, how far I’ve come, who I am today. I see her a lot of places. I picture her in London and Paris a lot, probably because this was her first big experience,ever. I see her at the top of the Eiffel Tower, looking down in pure amazement. I see her riding the subway singing with her friends a rendition of “I like big butts and I cannot lie”, as the Londoners give the three of these crazy kids odd looks.  I see her rolling down a hill outside of a castle, getting green grass all over her butt. I see her spending the day with Mr. Phamvu there, following eachother around and laughing the whole day, eating fish and chips and being too loud in museums and falling asleep on his shoulder on the train.  I see her and him painting at a volunteer shelter, wondering out loud about the future as she climbs the ladder to get a higher spot. I see her smiling now at the fact that the dude’s still her best friend today and I see her pretty surprised about it too. I smile now because through all of lifes changes and bad and good things that happen, sometimes nothing changes at all.  As I sit here watching Gossip Girl with my husband,  a man who was 24 when I wasn’t even legal…less than 4 years after my London trip, I realize a lot’s changed–and for the better.  But as different as I am and as different as everything is, there’s parts of me that haven’t changed at all. And the things that don’t change, the parts of me that are the same; maybe those are the parts that are meant to stay just the way they are.

13 thoughts on “Change, Sex on the beach, & what Stays the Same.

  1. Amber says:

    I love you just the way you are 🙂 I don’t care where in life we are, when I turn 21 you WILL be there! No if’s, and’s or but’s about it 😛
    ps- please find out your new number and give it to me asap. I would greatly appreciate it ❤ miss you!

  2. You have evolved into an amazing young woman, and I love keeping up with your changes by reading your blog. I look forward to seeing where the whirlwind named Tina will land next! 🙂 Maybe when Meg goes to study abroad, we can ALL rent a villa for a week and go visit her 🙂 Bone up on your spanish chica!

  3. Meg’s mom said it all. And yes, that means I’m welcoming myself into their family and will be going with you when you visit Meg. Can’t wait!

  4. Meg says:

    I’ve always wondered that! By that I mean what is meant to stay the same and what we’re allowed to evolve. What’re our innate qualities? It’s hard for me to tell sometimes.

    [this is good]

    I can’t wait to visit! I’m even kinda feeling okay about the plane ride because I’m not gonna be over water so if we crash I’ll probably die instantly or live. Oddly, that puts me at ease. hahaha

  5. OC says:

    The last paragraph of this entry is beautiful! It’s all good but the last entry is amazing! And so true…if the younger us knew how super cool the older us would turn out to be!

    Life man, she’s a ride.

    And yes, mostly scared, a little taken aback but alas, not a seductive picture. Let’s keep trying!

    come to Toronto and we’ll do a sexy picture workshop!
    Christina, the other one

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