I seriously have hearing issues. Conversation working at Starbucks today:
Boss man(on dirty dishes) : Looks like we need a dish faerie in here.
Me: What!? What’s a douche-berry?!.. .Douche-berry?!
Customer looks startled at the same time that I recall we have a customer. Who now is very startled by me. Boss Man looks like he may kill me. Other coworker Jenn is laughing so hard it sounds like she might pee her pants.
Boss man: I said dish faerie!!!! We need to put a censor on your mouth.
Indeed they do, Indeed they do. Despite the fact that I need a hearing aid and a mouth guard, life is good right now. Actually, excuse me as a I toot my own horn a little bit….My life is fan-freakin’-tastic. I’m working a bunch and exams are coming up but you know, I like working. And I like learning. You know what else? The offer on our house was accepted. We have a HOUSE. Let me repeat unless you don’t get it yet. WE HAVE A HOUSE. With a fireplace. I’m about to go register for classes at my new university. My best friend is down from San Antonio and we have a date, I’m thinking ice cream, tomorrow. My friend and I met some cool new people last night, and ended up following them to my first ever gay bar. I made buddies with one sweet dude and he began to give me the dish on his romance life and a sweet girl that was with him applied lip gloss to my lips and told me not to rub it in. Apparently that’s where white girls go wrong. I was warned about drag queens from my new buddy before going to the girl’s restroom and I’m pretty sure I saw one and complimented on her attire. We later got lost for hours, danced confidently at a place we were definitely the only white people at,and ended up at Wendy’s until about 3 in the morning. Yes. Everything is pretty damn perfect for sure.