People fascinate me. People and how they react to one another even more so. We’re pretty weird, y’all. All of us. The things we do and why we do it. The way we communicate with one another, in one way or another. My tied for first (with Modern Fiction) favorite class this semester would have to be Communications. It’s a public speaking class mixed with the way we non-verbally talk to one another as well. You’ve probably already heard that most of communicating is done without actually speaking? That is pretty interesting to me. That being said, I like to talk nonstop and I like to get my point across by babbling as much as possible. Bringing me to this: I HAVE MY OWN (online) RADIO SHOW! EEEEEEK! I went to a meeting on campus last night,turned in my application, and talked a little about what I wanted to bring to my radio show–(The name of my show,”Un Poco De Todo”, means “A little bit of everything” in English.I think that’s pretty self explanatory,yes?) And that was that. I’ll be doing it with a good friend of mine, and I expect all of you to listen! You can hear me tommorrow from 11am-12 (and maybe 6pm too if I can drag my lazy ass back up to campus and press the ‘play’ button. I’m gonna try my best but no promises.) at Tornado Radio. Expect a lot of randomness and a lot of over-analyzing of every song I play. Dude. I’m a d.j. now! Imma be doing a lot more communicating than I’ve ever done before–and I feel I’ve done a pretty decent amount.That being said–Thought I’d discuss some of my favorite relationships and why communicating in each one is pretty damn important to me.
My husband and I, to put it lightly, both really sucked at love before we met eachother. I said and heard I love you from one other dude whom I should have never had a relationship with in the first place; My husband had said it to two different girls, once in bed because chick had said it first and he felt obliged, and to another over a text message. Um. Seriously!? I still occasionally poke fun of him for that one. (and I hope he doesn’t read this ‘cuz I might be in biiiiig trouble. I’m not sure though.) When we first met eachother, it was tough. We both switched roles and overcompensated while switching roles. I had become terrified of communicating anything, I was terrified of being in a relationship where I had to try to speak what I was feeling ever again. I was scared it would be all wrong again and I would get screwed over. He, however, was apparently ready to jump in and wear his heart on his sleeve. His words were like cliche poetry “You’re the one, I love you, Your eyes are so beautiful, Blablabla” after only two weeks. I would always smile and repeat his words back to him half-heartedly. I had,after all, heard most of this bull-shit before. Speaking, I’ve learned, is definitely the most bullshit filled form of communicating. Except with Robby, it wasn’t bullshit. It was legit. After I learned that, communicating became 100 percent easier. But it did take me a while. Now, both of us know everything about eachother. Every story, Every flaw,Every secret, Every mistake. We rarely talk to eachother in cheesy love songs anymore;it’s more of a conversation between best friends. This, in my opinion, is way more romantic than hearing sweet nothings nonstop. It’s real and it means much more. We have this unspoken language where we both can just look at the other and know what’s going on in our heads; Definitely my favorite form of communicating by far. It took what seems like centuries to get to this point, but here we are.
I have a pretty close knit family. I also have a family that fights a lot. Everytime I go to my parent’s house, it seems somebody is angry at someone else. This weekend, my dad was mad at me. (I told him husband and I would be eating light after he had already bought tons of food. Oops.) After he got over that (I ate lots of food anyway.) my brother and I got in a huge fight. We both exchanged pretty hurtful words (I told him he had always been the dumb one and he brought up a relationship I had that you do not bring up in the Cirotto household.) and when I left we were still screaming back and forth at one another. My family’s pride issues are composed of two bad things: Stubbornness and Temper. Justin and I are so much alike that though we rarely argue, when we do, it’s scary. I’ve come to learn the more two people are alike, the more common it is that they butt heads. Also, the more someone knows you, the more they know how to push your buttons and find your weak spots. It makes me upset that I still haven’t learned how to communicate properly when I’m angry. That I, like a good majority of the rest of my family, resort to hurting people I care about the most when I’m mad. Thankfully, I have learned to apologize when I know I should and the next day I called him up and told him I was sorry. He apologized as well and we both went back to normal. I couldn’t help but feel like I was six years old again and had just apologized for giving him a bloody nose.
My friends are my second loves. My first, if I’m fighting with my husband at that moment. I used to have trouble opening up, but I’ve sorted the good from the bad at this point, and I have friends I know I can trust and open my heart with. I love conversations with good friends. I have bunches. The ones you can talk anything and everything with. Because I already have a husband who is a dude, I especially long for girl talk, and I am lucky to have plenty of it. There are girlies in my life that I have what I call ‘Girl Romances’ with. Not meaning I’m in love with you, but that I get giddy and heart-happy talking or typing to or just being around you. They are those that I can call up and just spend the night talking about boys or politics or Jersey Shore or religion. Girl romances complete me in a way that a penis just can’t, maybe for that reason exactly–There is no penis involved. Just innocent, fun, girl time. I always feel a little bit more complete after having a good time communicating with those I love the most. I have so many people in my life who are willing to understand and accept and listen to me. I dunno why, but they do. Just thinking about all of you and the talks we have makes my life a little more full everytime.
There is so much fun and mystery in communicating with strangers. Like a sort of game. It’s addicting. I’m pretty infatuated with new people; Smitten with strangers. I love hearing everything about whoever it is that I’m meeting, I could listen for hours and hours to the story of someone elses life. Still,somehow when I meet someone new,I always find myself rambling on. I’ve just started at a new school and I have to watch myself because I do not know when to close my mouth. I actually made myself listen to me the other day and my babbling even becomes entertaining to my own ears. Goodness.The things I say to people I don’t know! It’s almost easier to talk to them sometimes. They don’t know too much about you and they’re usually eager to hear. Yesterday I was in my communications class and found myself talking about old car accidents. “I ran into a curb…and a Sonic railing post….and a neighbors fence…and….” At this point the girl I had just introduced myself to is roaring with laughter and so is the guy that is overhearing next to her. They also want to know what kind of vehicle I drive so they know to stay away. Later, in my Modern Fiction class, I ever so bluntly asked a girl where she sat at lunch and then proceeded to joke around that I was stalking her. I’m really not stalking her, if you’re wondering. Lucky for me, almost everyone seems more amused than annoyed that I can’t ever shut my mouth. Making communicating that much more fun for me.
PS: Don’t forget my radio show,y’all! Tomorrow’s is the first so it’ll be a little rough and will probably consist of mostly awkward giggling and lots of music. Just to prepare you.