My week has been more than fairly entertaining. Can’t say that there’s ever a dull moment in my life. It’s been a long, but wonderful seven days. I’m still adjusting to this new non-breathable schedule and right now I’m tempted to crawl under the covers with a comfy pillow and a good book. And reappear in two days or so. Instead I’m drinking a Bud Ice (I hate beer and this tastes great. That should tell you something.) and have compiled a list of quotes, texts, pictures,moments, and videos (Christina’s Awkward Life Episode 3!) to keep you on the up and up. Be excited! I’m peeking out from under my covers just for you.
– This week so far on campus I’ve heard something like “Oh!That’s never happened before.” twice. And yes, directed towards yours truly both times. I seem to make things happen that usually just wouldn’t. I’m either bad luck or just ridiculously clumsy. I think it’s more of the latter but probably a bit of the first as well. Let me explain. A friend and I started our online radio show on campus Wednesday. First, we were locked out. We were already running late and I frantically called both of the numbers listed for help. One of the people I called had an office right next door and thankfully he quickly unlocked it for us. We get the radio show started pretty fast afterward, and both Katie and I think everything is going good. We were wrong. Turns out we have the wrong speakers on and viewers can only hear ME and not Katie for the first ten minutes. This makes it sound like I am giggling and having a nice conversation with myself for quite a bit. Well,crap. As if people don’t think I’m crazy enough. Everything went well after that until I somehow messed up the whole radio station and couldn’t get music to play. I started talking about hand sanitizer because I had run out of topics at this point.Shortly after the computer completely kicked us off the air. The girl who was in there making sure everything went smoothly couldn’t figure it out and responded with(you guessed it) “Well this has never happened before!” Awesome. Today I heard the same exact thing when I was walking to class and accidentally dropped my books. One of them fell off of the bridge I was walking across and into a grassy hill below. My friend is cracking up laughing and a couple of boys are staring at the books and back at me no doubt thinking ‘What a dumbass.’ and also realizing it wouldn’t be polite to just walk away. One nice boy finally jumps down and gets my book…but not before responding with, “Never seen that happen before.” Yeah, well. You’ve never had me on your campus before either. Y’all best get used to it!
-Friend Emily and I decided to try to give ourselves bikini waxes yesterday night. Um. OUCH. Probably on the top 5 of most painful moments of my life, right below getting a tattoo and the two incidents my stupid little brother put me through when I was five years old (1. Standing up in the double seated stroller resulting in me cracking my head open…I had to get stitches. Doctors lied and told me I would be a grown up if I just laid still.Hmph. I still haven’t forgiven them for lying about that. AND 2. Ripping my earring clean out of my ear. I still have an ugly tear from that one.) She texted me asking me if another friend could join us and I told her that was fine but that I would eventually kick them out due to an early wake up the next morning. She responded with ” Ok. Just as long as we do our vaginas.” And then about an hour later “What section of the store is vagina wax?” Hee. Hee. Hee.
-I bought my husband and me oven-ready mozzarella sticks and fried cheese the other day.I’ve been slacking on my cooking since school started. He, however, is on top of his game. I came home from work yesterday to find grilled chicken, french fries, candied yams, a candle, AND Jersey Shore all ready for me. He spoils the shit out of me, this lovely boy.
Speaking of the husband,he finally convinced me to combine bank accounts. I’ve saved up a nice amount but considering I’ve cut my hours in half for school I would soon be struggling. It was really hard for me, giving up the control of having my own bank account. But a nice date to Taco Bell ,in which husband wooed me with chicken flat breads and kissing me sweetly on the forehead in our booth, made it all a little better. Just to warn you, if you’re a stubborn and independent woman like I am, you’re gonna have a hard time combining bank accounts one day. Even if you are poor and your husband makes a good three times more than you. That’s not the point.
I’ve always been bad at recording voicemails. My voice goes up at least 5 octaves (much like in some of my video blogs…) and I sound way too chipper. I got a voicemail yesterday from my best dude friend who is obligated to make fun. It started off with a pretty good imitation:“ ‘Hiiii y’aaaallllll It’s Christinaaaaa’ Ha-ha your little voicemail thing is so funny…..” Jerk. But I couldn’t help myself, I giggled.
After my friend on campus watched me playfully make fun of my ‘crush’ (I’m actually wanting to hook him up with a friend just so I can stare at his pretty little face more often.) and his southern accent today (and after he walked a safe distance away…) she asked me with a laugh “Does your crush know you’re married yet? The humor of this comment has had me laughing at random spurts throughout the day. And to answer the question, No. Not yet. I promise I’ll tell him before he proposes to me and we have to convert to Mormonism and move to Utah. (Kidding.Tee-hee? I think polygamy usually only works for guys anyway. Psh.)
And withour futher ado….Christina’s Awkward Life Three!