Our Marriage Manual,Yo.

I like my dude. We have fun together. I think we should write our own manual. But,wait, I’ll get to that in a minute.

Husband and I had a simple and sweet day to ourselves yesterday. We started off lounging around until two-ish, which was heavenly. We then did some Christina drive time practice from North to South Austin. I’m an awful driver and men (such as my dad and my hubby) are not always patient when they must drive with me. It’s not fair. Dudes just seem to know how to drive well.  I, on the other hand, have panic attacks when I’m forced into changing lanes. But I am slowly getting better and my husband,despite his  lack of understanding, is a good and mostly patient teacher.  After my driving lessons we were both famished and headed to Gatti Land. GATTI LAND! The place of pizza and games! I was so excited I seriously couldn’t contain myself.  I was practically jumping up and down in my seat. Brought me back to my childhood. Robby kept laughing at me. I’m pretty sure one of the reasons he loves me so much is because I am so easily entertained/excited. Makes his job much easier. We ended our afternoon with thrift shops, and a quick trip to the tool store. I don’t like tool stores so I ran into the Half Price Books next door. Dude. You can’t put me in a book store. It’s my nirvana. I will find some reason to want and need every book in the entire store. I,my friends, am what you call a book whore. I can make a decent sized library out of books I haven’t even read yet. I did good this time though! Only two books for under six dollars. There was one book though that especially caught my eye and made me smile. Even made me feel pretty proud. I had to at least take pictures of it.

Surviving the first year of marriage?! There’s a freakin’ book for this? Well,hell. Husband and I have, so far, sailed through our first year of marriage. Less than a month from now we’ll be at the one year mark. No book needed. This lovely manual goes onto say that the first year is the make it or break it point in a relationship. Both husband and I agree that we had already gone through many make it or break it points in our relationship before the marriage; We had,after all, been living together since the second week we met eachother. So this first year? It’s been a piece of cake. It’s been more than a piece of cake. It’s been having our cakes and eating them too. It’s almost like a reward for hanging in there through the hell we put the other through while dating–Our special treat for sticking it out. And here we are. We’re happy and as carefree as I suppose a relationship could possibly be. We rarely argue. We love to be around the other more than anybody else in the world but have healthy, separate lives as well. We are the ideal marriage, for today anyway. So this made me think. Hey. We should write a manual! Husband agreed. On the back of the book was a list of questions for those going through their first year of marriage. They’re all pretty simple questions so I asked the boy for his opinion and will be answering my own as well. Thought I’d share with y’all. Ahem.

Christina and Robby’s How To:Getting Through Yo First Year.Yo.

(That’s totally what we’d call it.)

How do you deal with your folks (I’m guessing this means the other persons folks?) when you visit on the holidays?

Husband: I like your parents.They don’t get on my nerves….They’re nice. I like them. You know how they show in the movies how everyone hates their in-laws? I don’t know what their reasons are. I don’t have any.

Me: Robby has an awesome and very normal family. They love me. I love them. There’s never been one problem with that, though I’ve heard horror stories and it makes me really appreciate what I do have. If anything, knowing his family has made me love him even more. They’re less annoying than him anyway. Hee.

Should you have a joint bank account or keep them separate?

Me: I’ll get back to you. We just joined them. I’m slightly terrified. But also hopeful. But more terrified. I have control issues.

Husband: I’ll let you know. *chuckles* Nah, keep ’em joint.

How do you get him to go to the mall?

Me: I just realized this isn’t a gay friendly book. It’s all very he-she. Just saying. Also, stop being sexist, silly book! Robby likes to shop. Okay, he doesn’t like the mall. But I don’t want to take him to the mall. That’s my girl time, or my me time, or my best dude friend time. Not husband time. We did look at wedding rings at the mall though. He was much more patient than me. I get bored easily. He knows this though, so surprised me later with a surprise ring and proposal.

How do you get her to go to the game? (Again.Sexist! I like sports way more than the husband does. Okay, I’ll shut-up. This is his question,after all.) Husband: Tell her it’s the Titans. (True that.)

Can you find a way to overcome differences in political and religious differences?

Husband: Yes. It’s either my way or the highway. (Laughs) We’re both the same politically and (chuckle) neither of us go to church.

Me: This isn’t at all a problem for Robby and I. We’re both really open-minded and willing to listen and experiment. Politically, we’re both what I’d call Moderate and our beliefs are practically identical. Religiously, though he was raised Catholic and I Protestant, we’re both at a point where we’re questioning and learning to find our own way apart from how we were raised. It’s kind of nice that we’re able to both do that together.

How do you handle eachothers best friends? (The ones who know everything about your last fight?)

Husband: I don’t care ‘cuz…your friends still like me. And it’s always stupid stuff. (That we argue about.)

Me: I love Robby’s friends. He has good taste and a few of them have become good friends to me as well. And neither of us really discuss our serious fights with friends. We’re pretty private people and don’t want others to know about our business. Also, I know everybody handles this differently,especially girls. But I personally hate when people know any of my faults or weaknesses–especially my faults or weaknesses in a relationship with anybody else. It’s an easy way to get attention, but pity is the last reason in the world that I want attention. So my fights with the husband stay just that. Fights with the husband. No one else needs to get involved. But at this point, we rarely fight anyway. We’re in a really good place right now, and I hope I can write a “How to survive the 50th year” manual 49 years from now.

 

I leave you with a picture of our marriage license. It’s so legit looking, right? It’s crazy to know that it’s actually law that we’re married. If we didn’t survive the first year without having a manual and I wanted a divorce, I guess the above document would kind of piss me off. But being that I absolutely adore the boy and am head over heels in l-oooo-ve, It’s actually pretty neat.  Cheers to many more years of not needing manuals to get through our marriage. Hurrah!

11 thoughts on “Our Marriage Manual,Yo.

  1. Anonymous says:

    yey! Happy almost one year! Not that I’m married, but I’m living with Paul, who I plan on marrying, and its nice working out all the kinks of living with a person before getting married. Wishing y’all another 80 years of happiness!

  2. Hah Tina – one way to ensure a successful marriage is make sure you get along well with your inlaws *before* marriage – if you don’t, they can make your life a living hell. (Mine didn’t) Because honey, family IS your support. A table doesn’t stand on 3 legs, you know? 🙂

    And the only thing I would suggest down the road is when you have kids – start going back to church – because of a few reasons:

    1) It’s something you do together as a family…each week. Kids need consistency in their lives.

    2) It instills the foundation of a faith in your kids.

    3) It also reinforces the values YOU will be teaching them at home – kids NEED limits, they NEED discipline, they NEED values, and they NEED love in order to feel safe and secure. Without one of those, they’ll falter a bit.

    4) It opens you up to a new friend base, although I know you don’t need any more friends *grins* (and hopefully the church you choose will have a “mothers day out” program LOL)

    • christina says:

      i agree about the in laws…i knew i liked them WAAYYYY before we got married. it was important to me.

      kids!? what kids?! ha. yeah when the time is right we’re both open to finding a new church that suits both of our belief systems…right now i’m still a little weary about the church thing but those are great reasons! (for when i have kids when i’m 50, that is. hee :P)

  3. still so young – don’t worry you have years to develop a proper cynicism and lack of respect for each other. the in-laws wear anyone down eventually – I remember thinking like you do – great days… Looks like you are doing great – well done 🙂

    • having recently waelkd down this path there are 3 books that we read that were very helpful in forming a Biblical view of marriage and each other:Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas (one to read and re-read)When Sinners Say I Do by Dave HarveyEach for the Other by Bryan and Kathy Chapellwhile Jon and I decided in the end to not get married, all three of these books helped us to view our relationship and God in a much more Biblical light and challenged us to truly love each other with the love of Christ.

  4. Congrats! Or almost congrats… 5 days after your one year it’ll be Allen and I’s (is that right? Allen and I’s?)

    I definitely agree with Meg’s mom on the church part. All the reasons she gave are very true…I don’t have any experience being a mother, but I was always taught that and through all the screw ups and character flaws I turned out okay. 😉 lol

    • christina says:

      congrats to you and allen too! and allen and i is right. if you drop the other name and just read the ‘i’ part in the sentence and it makes sense…than it’s right. that was my confusing english lesson of the day baha.
      i ❤ youuu. and you did turn out wonderfully!

  5. The book idea is pretty funny. I had never seen that before. My hubby and I are into our eighth year of marriage (and we’ve been together for seventeen total years). Perhaps we should write our own book!

    The thing that works the best for us is an equal (or almost equal) division of labor. Girls always seem to do more in the chore department, for some reason. We also don’t conform to typical gender roles…for example, he does the grocery shopping and cooking. I am a terrible cook, and grocery shopping and cooking are two things that I absolutely detest. I also have no problems with helping him do physical labor or other dirty jobs.

    Probably my most favorite thing that we do (that most people don’t seem to do) is separate laundry. He doesn’t ruin my clothes anymore, and I don’t have to worry about getting my “unmentionables” mixed up with his “mentionables”!

    Btw, this comment is waaaaay longer than I intended it to be! :o)

    • christina says:

      eight years! congrats!!! that’s amazing.
      i’m just now liking to cook. i will never like cleaning. but untraditional marriages are the best 🙂

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