Why Love Isn’t What I Used To Think It Was

I’ve always had a thing for this love holiday,y’all. Years before I would ever have a boyfriend, my dad would always make things special by coming home from work with roses and candy. Today will be my fourth anniversary of celebrating Valentine’s Day with a boy other than my dad and the third anniversary of spending it with my husband. Considering the one without him consisted of hiding flowers in my closet so my parents wouldn’t be suspicious of who gave them to me, the three since have been much more pleasant.

This morning was no exception. I woke up to get ready for school, and found orchids (my favorite!), a box of chocolates and a sweet card waiting for me on the dining room table. I was surprised. Husband made me think we’d be going to dinner and a movie and that was all. This was fine with me and all I really expected as my dude is an awful secret keeper. I love surprises but I’ve learned to not look out for them. Though Robby has always been great about presents and treats, he just gets too excited and can’t keep things to himself. I had an inkling he’d be proposing to me about a couple of weeks before he did; Every time we’d get in an argument or I was being mean he’d blurt out something like “You’re going to feel very bad about this soon….” I’ve come to accept and even adore the fact that my husband is somewhat of a little kid at heart and probably will never be able to keep his mouth shut. So this morning, I was glowing all over on my way to school. He actually surprised me!

The card may have been my favorite part. Another thing I’ve had to come to peace with is the fact that Robby is not a writer. As a teenager, I imagined my future husband to be somebody who would write me love poems and sonnets whilst strumming to me on his guitar. First of all, Robby does not play the guitar. Feeling generous, I accepted this right away.  Though I thought maybe one day the sonnet gods may flood his heart with inspiration and I would come home to scrolls of pretty sounding words and Robby weeping on the floor with love. Or something of this nature. Folks, if you know my husband, you already know that this is an unrealistic image. He is a little bit of a hillbilly with a huge accent, a politically incorrect sense of humor and a love for all things Star Wars. The closest I am going to get to a sonnet is the inappropriate songs he makes up while on the toilet. I’ve accepted this. I’m even starting to love this about him. Who wants the guy they dreamed up when they were fifteen anyway? My fifteen year old self seems to have accidentally drawn up a guy who may secretly want another man. I can see that now.

So when I read Robby’s short and sweet note this morning, tears welled up in my eyes. He told me over the phone on my way to school, “Did you read the card? I took a really long time to pick it out.” Though he may be a man of few words, I know he means it. He probably looked through every card in that whole dang store until he found the one that suited us best and most perfectly. And he found it. Here’s what Hallmark wrote and Robby delivered:

“For my Wife,

What I love about us is how good we are together.

We’re partners and friends

We’re there for each other,

No matter what comes along

What I love about us

Is how much we enjoy each other’s company

And knowing that nothing in the world

Is more important

Than just being together.

But without a doubt,

What I love most about us,

Is that I get to be “us” with you.

So yeah, He didn’t write it. But knowing how incredibly us, this card was, it still made me all weepy. At the bottom was a very short note he wrote himself.

 He even remembered the apostrophe! I was so proud. I’ve learned, over these years with Robby, that love doesn’t always go exactly the way one imagined it would. Sometimes boys aren’t poetic and they don’t write you sonnets as they cry into your lap. My husband will never be that guy. That doesn’t matter to me anymore. There’s other things I’ve found to be much more important. Everything about my dude is so incredibly real. He doesn’t lie,steal or cheat. He tells me I’m beautiful as much as he possibly can. He makes me feel safe and I trust him with my whole heart. I feel comfortable peeing around him with the bathroom door wide open. He treats others with respect and has a knack for making my friends, family and the world in general fall in love with him. He is, hands down, the most amazing listener I’ve ever met. He watches every episode of Jersey Shore and Gossip Girl without complaint. The bedroom definitely never gets boring. He comforts me when I’m upset over something that men don’t even understand. He has a smile too big and happy to keep secrets. He makes me laugh and brings tears to my eyes with words that, though not his, he searched and searched to find the best. That he looked the supermarket up and down for until he found the one he would have written himself–Had he been born with the talent from the sonnet gods. And that is more than good enough for me. Because, you know, I don’t want perfect. I want Robby.

15 thoughts on “Why Love Isn’t What I Used To Think It Was

  1. This was really sweet, Tina 🙂 It made me smile and turn to goo and what not. We have some pretty great guys…or at least I think so when I’m not going through a mental break down 🙂
    Love you! Happy Valentine’s Day!

  2. Meg says:


    I read like half of this to my roommate. First i read all the stuff that was making me laugh super hard then i read what was inside the card. =]

    I think you and Robby are going to make more single people in this world because they won’t settle for anything less than what you two have after reading your blog =P

    Also, good point: “he doesn’t lie, cheat, or steal.”

    I would never be with someone who did any of those things (more than the average upstanding citizen does)

    I love you a lot, happpy valentine’s day, love!

  3. “…My fifteen year old self seems to have accidentally drawn up a guy who may secretly want another man…” made me laugh big time 😀
    Thinking of it the man I was dreaming about at 15 was way more macho then I would ever be able to handle today 😆

      • Hey Wayne,Great to hear from you. It looks like I\’ll be in England sometime beofre the film opens on July 5. We will definitely have that beer/liquidloafofbread.I like the way you\’re thinking. What an amazingly gratifying thought to be in the position to be actually making the making of Lighthouse Road. A lot has to happen beofre then.I hope you are right about the European response to WYS. If not I\’ll be counting on you once again to crack a few noggins and open the doors of perception.So far the preliminary word from both France and the UK is very strong. Fingers crossed.best,Tom

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s