What I know now that I didn’t May 28th, 2008.

Last night my husband knocked on our front door. He was cleaning his truck and I was slightly annoyed that he couldn’t go around to the garage. When I answered, he handed me a ticket to a popular Texas theme park. I stared at it a second, perplexed. I thought maybe it was a surprise for my upcoming 22nd birthday. Not exactly what I had in mind, but hey. I was about to say something when he explained, “The day you moved in!” I smiled as a rush of memories came back to me. The date on the ticket was May,28th 2008. I met Robby the first of May,2008. We started dating May 16th. I moved into his apartment the night we came back from Fiesta Texas, exactly four weeks after meeting him. My dad had been mad at me that particular day and I was only supposed to stay until things blew over or I found somewhere else to go. I had just recently turned nineteen and never would have imagined that May 28th, 2008 would turn into something permanent. That it would end in a proposal, an engagement, a marriage. I had grown up very innocent and naive, didn’t have my first kiss until I was 18, and made a handful of bad decisions before I stumbled upon my future husband.  Still, even those few experiences were so fresh in my head that they hadn’t had the time to turn into useful life lessons yet. I flabbergasted the poor man at first. I tipsily made out with him the first time we met. Then on our first date, being nervous and trying to keep conversation going, I rambled off that I was a virgin. Shortly after this, I humped his leg, thinking it was foreplay. The evening after he met my parents, I walked him to his truck on a full-mooned night. I informed him that I heard that people had good sex on these kinds of nights. Needless to say, my brain was confused and my signals were thus, confusing. The world was new to me. Dating was new to me. Life was new to me. Everything, since then, has been a whirlwind. Who I am and what I know now has all been hugely dependent on the past few years of my life. Having said that, I’d like to share with you some of the things I understand now, that I didn’t back then.

  • Don’t judge others; You can rarely say “I would never do that.”, Until you are in that day, moment,situation.

 

  • Proving someone wrong with actions is hands down a million times better than hurting them with words.

    

  •  Friends are not always forever. Memories linger. The process of healing a broken heart hurts like hell. There are things, no matter how hard you try, you cannot let go of. But details eventually grow foggy, the way he/she looked at you becomes less clear, and you’ll meet someone new to ease the pain. The goal should not be trying to defy logic and forget, but rather making peace with the things you will always remember. 

  

  • Putting razors in your purse for when you miss a spot can be rather dangerous and painful. And you’ll get strange looks when one falls out of your purse onto the floor in a very public place.

 

  • People will criticize you for things they do themselves. It’s often blind hypocrisy, as they refuse to admit or see what they hate about themselves, mirrored in you.

 

  •  Never take priority in romantic love over love without the romance. Those who love you without being in love with you will be the main source of comfort and support when romantic love isn’t so romantic or full of love anymore.

 

  • Go easy on believing every cliché. Just because someone cares about you doesn’t mean the relationship is going  to work out or that it is even a healthy relationship to be in. Love does not always conquer all. 

 

  • At the same time, keep an open mind. Someone making bad decisions doesn’t make them an awful person. Someone hurting you doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. When inclined to think this way, recall whether or not you’ve ever made a bad decision or hurt someone you care about.

 

  •  People aren’t scary or unapproachable. They only seem this way occasionally because they,like you, are hurt and scared and fragile. Because they have their guard up too. All the more reason to approach strangers with a smile.

 

  •  Family is something that you’re both born into and that you make for yourself. It’s those that without a doubt and whether you like it or not, are a part of you. It’s those that stick around at the point where no one would blame them for walking away.

 

  • It’s not all about me.

 

  •  Just because you’ve seen a few bad marriages doesn’t mean they’re all bad. If one person screws you over that doesn’t mean the rest of them will. Just because one guy you fell for is untrustworthy doesn’t mean the one after that will be. In fact, he could be honest, sweet, caring, sexy and perfect for you. He might not screw you over. The relationship could be amazing. You have to take a chance on the maybes in life.

  

  •  Potential is actually a pretty good thing to open a bottle of now and again. Sometimes you’ll surprise even yourself with what it turns into.

 

  • Happy endings are possible,but there is no such thing as the permanence of  “happily ever after.” Life is not made up of one book but thousands of short stories. Therefore, lots of happy endings are possible.
  • 

 

  • Nobody really heeds their own advice. Especially if it’s good advice.

 

    

  • Falling in love is just simply lovely. So is the three-letter action that often accompanies it. 

 

  •  Lay off of heat of the moment fighting with loved ones as much as possible. Once the anger wears off you’re usually left with someone you miss terribly and words too hurtful to mend what’s been lost.

  

  • Working in retail for an extended amount of time introduces you to some awesome people, teaches you great social skills and helps you learn how to cope with idiots on a day-to-day basis.

 

  •   Life is hard, people sometimes suck and you too will make some pretty dumb-ass mistakes. Forgive others and forgive yourself.

 

  •   Girls are wonderful. Sometimes they just need to come with a handbook. Rule # 43254534. Girls are very rarely bitchy because they just don’t like you. They’re usually just dandy until: A. They feel the pang of jealousy or B. You’ve hurt their feelings,their friends, or their heart.  Either of these ticking time bombs will more or less result in a minefield of damage, so be careful where you step. 

 

  • Though some will say empathy is something you’re born with, it’s also in many ways something you learn from living and feeling your own pain. It’s much easier to feel and respond to others when you yourself have felt heartache. It’s much easier to turn away and choose selfishness when you haven’t ever been there or been put in a situation where you could be there.

 

  •  Music is like aloe vera for heartaches.

 

  • Marriage is hard work, especially at such a young age. It means taking on the stress and problems of not one, but two people. There will be late night fights, lots of tears and a whole lot of seeing someone elses point of view when you’d rather hit them in the face. But with the right person, it’s more than worth it. There’s nothing more comforting than coming home every night to the person you love the most. Except seeing the one that loves you the most smiling as you walk through the door.

 

  •  Sometimes when people tell you that your natural hair color is much prettier than a ridiculously fake shade of jet black, they’re really telling you the truth.

 

  •  People around you will die. Not just old people, and not just peacefully and expectedly. Sometimes at seventeen and in a tragic car accident and without proper notice.  So go on adventures, be constantly spontaneous, find beauty in ugly things and random moments, be giving with your hugs and kind words, laugh so hard you pee a little, let go of your stupid grudges, eat something fattening and spend the most time with those who mean the most to you.

 

  •  Choosing to respect yourself and to hold onto innocence is never something you’ll regret.

  

  • People are fascinating, friends are essential, and cuddle sessions are a perfect way to get your daily dose of oxytocin.

14 thoughts on “What I know now that I didn’t May 28th, 2008.

  1. Ah, I like this post.. it’s a kind of cute story.. I especially like “You have to take a chance on the maybes in life.” because I guess that’s true.. sometimes we don’t.. but we can always learn the lesson.. and I guess you’re right when you write “Choosing to respect yourself and to hold onto innocence is never something you’ll regret.” this too..

    Have a great day!!!

  2. Meg says:

    “Nobody really heeds their own advice. Especially if it’s good advice.”

    True story! that’s why we need friends and moms and therapists haha. Moms and therapists are interchangeable. (for me.)

    “Choosing to respect yourself and to hold onto innocence is never something you’ll regret.”

    I like that. Once you lose respect for yourself, pretty much everyone else does as well.

    • indeed! to both of your statements. agh i just got so mad haha i was typing this and i LOST my mouse. it just went away. where does it go!? haha i almost called my computer a “fat whore” 😛 lol miss you and your cute little fits best frienddddd.

  3. very educated of you

    i’ll add: anger is always always ALWAYS a surface reaction to the deeper feeling of pain. and, 99.9% of the time, pain is hurt feelings (feeling overlooked, belittled, forgotten….)

    wish I could share the family sentiment but that one doesn’t hold true in my life.

    • yes! anger thing is SO true. though i think especially for hirls because guys are much better at just getting their feelings out in the open (ie fist fights) when girls like to ruminate and turn emotions into secretive anger.

      aw. i’m sorry : / what i meant from that was family doesn’t have to be biological. a lot of mine isn’t at all.

      haha and yeah, my husband is secretly a pretty sentimental keepsake kinda guy 😛

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