After I posted my video of my adventures with people/places in New Mexico, I received some pretty touching feedback. Friends told me that it made them happy, cheered them up and made them want to go out and do more in life. I even showed my (shy) daddy, and he smiled that little smile that meant he thought I was both crazy and brave. Some asked how I could just go walk up to people like that. (I’m crazy,remember?!) I am pretty amazed at how far one extroverted personality and a camera can go. But more than anything, I’m amazed at how many gentle reminders this process gave me.
I’m a pretty cheerful person, if you can’t tell by now. In making this video, I watched happiness spread. Sometimes I would start this, and sometimes others would spark a little extra joy in me. Regardless, in talking to these strangers, hearing their stories or simply just sharing a chuckle….good feelings were spread. And in posting the video, even more good feelings spread. I was reminded how nice it felt to be so exhilaratingly happy. How wonderful it feels to get drunk on another person’s joy. How contagious both good and bad feelings are. I spread myself thin among so many people,befriend anyone and everyone. Up until now I always thought this was a good thing. Now I’m realizing it might not be. Sure, I love all of my friends and I plan on still making time for all of them. But it dawned on me when I was away: Shouldn’t I be spending the most time with those who give and receive the most happiness from me? Isn’t that fair to both parties? Coming back from my vacation, I more or less decided to take it easy and spend time with just a few of my tried and true (But I’m still missing a lot of you! << Oh,look. All of that rhymed!). It astounded me how great and stress-free I continued to feel, and still am feeling. In fact, I can’t stop smiling,knowing it’s simply in all of the little moments spent with those I know adore me as much as I adore them:
- At a small couple’s BBQ I put together,my best dude friend and I sharing a seat in the dining room. Him later writing a disgustingly affectionate letter in my journal that read: “Your my best friend and your skinny lol, your journal is weird. Love, Bryant. (Gross blood spot from his newly injured hand goes here) << My blood is the symbol of our friendship.” I wasn’t sure whether to laugh, pass out, throw up or correct his awful grammar skills.
- My best girlfriend Tessa and I sneaking up to her boyfriend’s bathroom to gossip and hug and cry and talk of our undying love for the other. Others coming up to look for us because we did all of this for so long.
- Going to Olive Garden with friend Priscilla, and attempting to sneak out when figuring out they had no happy hour. Being caught in the act by the manager, who confusedly asked if anything was wrong. Our waiter informing him, “They want to drink.” Giggling and blushing all the way to our next choice.
- Cuddling with my boy. Smelling the slightly sweet scent of his hair. Little surprise kisses on my cheeks, shoulders and neck. The feel of his skin. The way he sometimes snores when he sleeps. A week and a half long vacation is an incredible reminder of all the little things you end up missing and indulging on the most.
- After our date yesterday, receiving this facebook comment from my Little (Big Brothers Big Sisters): “Christina You Have Become A Real special Person in My life (: Love You Big Sister!”
- Best couple’s date ever: Hearing my hubby and my best dude friend play League of Legends in the other room as Priscilla and I attempt to learn a dance to the song “Push it.”
So I’ve made a little pact to myself now. To not spread myself so thin just to accommodate to a larger number. Life is too short to surround yourself with those who may not want what’s best for you. It’s too unexpected to not spoil yourself with the affection and trust of those who deserve it most. It’s too beautiful to constantly deal with other’s negativities, envies and doubts. I am young, the sun is shining, my heart is completely full and quite frankly, I just don’t see the point anymore of having frenemies or figuring out anyone but myself. So here’s a new life goal of mine: To be happy, to make others happy and to be around those who make me the most happy. As of right now, being completely surrounded by the honesty and love of my loved ones, I’m really not so sure what else I could possibly ask for. I feel giddy, just knowing what these summer months are going to hold. And I don’t know why I didn’t see all of this before.