Why It Does Sometimes Matter What Other People Think.

We grow up hearing others say quite often that we shouldn’t ever give a darn what anyone thinks of us– That we should just be ourselves and that’s all that matters. Though I like the idea of self-assurance and love projected in those thoughts, I don’t agree 100 percent.  I feel like it depends hugely on the source. Who is this person? Do they care about me? Do they have my best interest at heart? Where are their words stemming from? Are they feeling envy or concern? Good will or hate? Bitterness or justified anger? If a friend who had known and loved me for 10 years walked up to me and told me I was an asshole, (This hasn’t happened yet, knock on wood.)  I would definitely take it more seriously than I would if a fifth removed cousin with a bad reputation told me the same thing. (This also hasn’t happened, and I don’t even know if I have a fith removed cousin.) At the same time, I would take advice from a well-meaning stranger before I would a frenemy with a history of insecurity. What I’m getting at is, I’ve learned now to to take criticism from those with good intentions with an open heart, and to dismiss those who don’t fall into that same category. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just turn away from anyone who had anything honest to say about me, but then how would I ever become a better person? How would I ever improve? How can I ever truly like the person that I am if I won’t ever admit to my shortcomings? Constantly playing the victim stops the growing process and hurts even the best of friendships. Learning to take the good with the bad is at times painful, but is also an extremely rewarding process that helps relationships grow stronger and true acceptance of self become easier.

Another reason why it’s sometimes important to listen to what other people think of me? For the most part, it’s heartwarming and smile-inducing. Somehow, I have been blessed with so many people in my life who seem to constantly see more good in me than bad. For example, this past week my best friend left a comment on my blog, 8 Reasons I Love Talking To Strangers.  She entitled it “8 Reasons I Love Christina Cirotto Boudreaux.”  It was so sweet and thorough and put the biggest smile on my face.  This girl knows pretty much better than anyone all of my annoyances and faults, and still chooses to see all the good stuff about me. That, to me, is the definition of best friendship. Her list is just too adorable not to share:

“8 Reason I Love Christina Cirotto Boudreaux

1. She is the biggest individual I have ever met! I mean this figuratively haha. She is not a follower and so eccentric hot I can’t contain myself. She marches to the beat of her own drummer.
2. She is my best friend in the world. Ten years and counting she has been there for me through thick and thin, even when I haven’t been the best friend I could be.
3. Every time I see her I find myself saying “I can’t remember the last time I laughed this hard”
4. She can’t drive. (also on the list of reasons Christina Cirotto Boudreaux drives me crazy…it’s less than 8 bullets no worries)
5. She is always trying to be a better version of herself. That takes a strong person.
6. She takes the initiative. I never really worry about her succeeding.
7. She is open minded. So much so she is open minded to close minded people–I need to work on that.
8. She’s really good at loving. Loving life, her husband, her friends, her family, her school, strangers, her job, rain, sun..and probably a lot of stuff not many more people love.

Well, shucks. I have to end this by saying she doesn’t give herself enough credit for #2. In our ten years of friendship, she’s oftentimes been a way better friend than I have, and is by far the most caring and honest girl I know. Also, anyone who has ever driven with me and LOVES me for my inability to properly work a vehicle, is an amazing person indeed.

19 thoughts on “Why It Does Sometimes Matter What Other People Think.

  1. Meg says:

    Lol @ the last tid bit there. You’re the sweetest!! I don’t feel the need to reiterate that I love you. It’s pretty obvious =P

    You’re right though. Sometimes caring about what people think of you gets you the furthest (farthest?). that’s how I do well in my classes a lot of the time. I CARE what my professors think about me, especially the ones that show respect for me and show that they care.

    =]

  2. You know a lot of people actually go around wondering what people think of them. I know someone that will not just run to the store in sweat pants and a t-shirt because they are sick; they will get up and get dressed, fix hair, and makeup then go to the store, to just fall right back in the bed. I believe if someone is going to judge (in a bad way) you then apparently they don’t know you at all. 🙂 The people who judge you are not the people directing and living your life, you are. Anyway… haha!!
    Sounds like you have a wonderful friend, you need to keep that one 🙂 Thanks for sharing and of course you have my brain thinking again.

    • lol i don’t understand people like that. i always leave the house looking like i just rolled out of bed (usually because i have :P)
      anyway, love this comment and i totally agree! big difference between judging and commenting out of love.
      i love that i make you think 🙂 it’s a lovely compliment to me.

      • Tariffs can be called a tax, paehrps, but they’re really two different things. First of all, they’re meant to discourage the purchase of foreign produced items in favor of domestic ones. That is a tax. You force consumers to pay more for a product that they want to buy so that some producer can get more money and stay in business. That’s supposedly favorable to domestic manufacturers and their shareholders and employees and buys some votes.But it is still a tax on all consumers who have to pay the duties.Second, should the consumer, for whatever reason, decide to bite the bullet and purchase the alien product, the state gets a chunk of the price. So the tariff is as much of an advantage to the state as it is a burden on the consumer.It is a burden on the consumer. Romney lied just as Obama always lies. Both are lawyers by training and know nothing substantive about real world economics. Which is why the US will have trouble no matter which one gets elected.

  3. I believe you should really start to worry when entire groups of people start to think negative things about ones-self. Such is especially important in a business environment where diversity is strong.

  4. I agree completely.

    If someone I trusted and loved came to me, I would care what they think! How can I have a healthy relationship with someone if I care nothing about how they view me? I’m not going to change who I am, but I’m also not going to be a jerk… or maybe I put on a nice shirt before going out rather than my PJ’s, which I’m sure we would all agree is SO much more comfortable. But not the image I want to put out.

    I also have to think about this at work. I’m a teacher. It does matter what the parents think of me. They are my paycheck. If I stop caring and then I will lose students or maybe even my job.

    I think that we should listen to those who love us and trust us to help us stay on the path of being good people. And ignore those people we know just want to bring us down.

    🙂

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