Trying out.

Copyright Adam Wright Photography

Early this week in my theatrical performance class, my professor gave a little speech that really stuck with me. She encouraged us to try out for the school play and stressed that once we get a bit older and graduate, the opportunities we have whilst in school oftentimes become more scarce (What with full-time jobs, kids, etc.) She enunciated the fact that we should take advantage of all we can right now, while there’s an abundance of choices ripe for the taking. What she was saying were rules I try to live by daily, but inspired me nonetheless. I had actually already signed up to try out, but this gave me that extra push to truly give said try-out my all.

Honestly, I was terrified. It’s been years since I was in high-school theatre, and being enrolled in a tiny private school, trying out was not really a necessity back then. I thought about it for a while before I finally just stopped thinking and signed my name on the audition list. I memorized a one-minute monologue, went over it probably over a million times, and still thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest while waiting for my turn to audition. Once in there and after reading my monologue, my adrenaline was on super speed after being asked to read other lines and to also ad-lib acting like a chimpanzee. It was insane. I was completely out of my element. I felt the need to cry. And laugh. And run away. And jump up and down and dance and high-five people because I did it. I actually did it.

That’s what trying out was about for me. I know that there are things I’m much better at than acting, and I didn’t go into this expecting to get a role. I did it because I wanted to. Because I love the thrill of performing, if only for 10 minutes in the form of an audition. Because facing fears feels fabulous. (Say that five times fast.) I did this for me. I was vulnerable and scared and shaking and it felt amazing. I all too often wait until I feel I’ve “accomplished” something or am “successful”  to announce it to others. But this is me announcing that I don’t know if I got a role. But I accomplished trying out for that role. I was successful in that I went through with something that really,really freaked me out. I am succesful in that I feel more alive and proud of myself because of it. And that’s enough for me.

I have a call-back tomorrow morning. This may not mean anything. But that’s okay. My old-man husband is turning 29 on Monday, and his parents come down tomorrow to spoil us with food and stuff. I have fun nights and adventures planned with friends this weekend. I am doing the best I can at living and fear-facing every day. That’s what this life stuff is all about I suppose. Not always getting everything you want, or accomplishing every goal, or always getting a lead role. But always trying out.

24 thoughts on “Trying out.

  1. tessa says:

    I LOVED this!! I hope you get the part, girly, but if you don’t at least you tried your best just like you said.
    Makes me want to sign up for that acting class I keep talking about….godda do it while I can 🙂

  2. My entire life, people tell me “you’re so brave!” People always talk about how I’m an attention whore, too.

    I’m not brave, I’m dumb & I’d rather be quiet in the woods but I get nervous and spaz around people. It’s like the talking and oversharing will distract them from how mental I am — except it only makes that worse. If I could, I would shut up!


    Point is: I love that you enjoy this, even if it’s a challenge (or because it’s one). You will do amazing things with your life because this is “you.” I won’t because I’m an unguided missile:)

  3. Good for you!! A million years ago, I tried out for high school cheerleader. I knew I didn’t stand a chance in hell (WAY too fat) but I also knew I wanted to know what tryouts were like… I wanted that experience under my belt.

    Good luck if you want it… or if you don’t want it… so good luck for whatever outcome you want.
    And hippo burfday to the man candy!

      • Overall RatingSexiness RatingExperience RatingSocial RatingChristina’s a delight, as preovius reviewers have noted. Warm, friendly, loves to please, easy to get along with. She’s sexual without being an animal definitely a GFE. Expensive but worth it!

  4. Your teacher is right: There is no time like the one you’re in to do all these amazing things. But I also know how you feel. The first time I had to do a dramatic reading, I thought I was going to faint in front of the class. I practiced over and over again in front of friends, however, and figured out where to pause, where to take a breath, when to speak loudly or soft. Once I got up there and actually began focusing on the words, I was surprised at how naturally it all happened.

    I also have a suspicion that you are dramatic in real life, so even though you’re nervous, I’ll bet auditioning will come naturally to you. 😉 Good luck!

  5. Oh well done you for taking the plunge like that and just going for it! I definitely feel like I should make the most of the opportunities I have now whilst at uni, it’s frustrating when I just physically can’t. But I think that going for the audition was a really brilliant thing for you to do and I’m so glad that went for it 🙂 I bet you felt a huge amount of pride and even if you don’t get the role it’s still a brilliant achievement! I hope you’re having a fantastic weekend 🙂

  6. Meg says:

    Denmark is the happiest country on earth! =]

    GOOD JOB! I wouldn’t have done it. we have slightly different philosophies. i agree with yours (although I don’t live by it as much as you do). mostly because I value my down time hahah. i know you do too but your love for trying a million things at least once equals your love for down time, not meee! haha Also i would not try out for a play unless i wanted to be in it for sure just because the slim chance i would get the role and then kick myself for trying out cuz, well darn, now i’m in a play =P which means rehearsal and practice and stage fright and more stage fright and memorization! But also probably a ton of new friends and an awesome experience. See, you could handle it. I could not haha.

    love you! good job. and i’m also proud of you for announcing it even though you do’nt know if you got the role or not. 🙂

      • I understand the whole comment except for the relevance of the Denmark part to my blog? I was trying to figure it out but then decided there wasn’t relevance to my blog, just to me because I love happiness! Hahaha hope that’s right.
        Hehe I love you and your comments. I love our different personality types but how we’re so much the same too! ❤

      • Meg says:

        omg this is weird but when i first read this blog there was a video at the end of it…like kind of an ad it was sooo weird it was a monkey talking about traveling to costa rica or something but he was talking really slowly and he said cost rica was the happiest place on earth which is why i said no way! denmark is lol

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