Starting with Cayenne.

Today my husband randomly asked me, “Baby, if you had to pick one thing that you were jealous of about me, what would it be?”

I only paused to think for a second before replying, “Your ability to not give a shit.”  Seriously. It amazes me how relaxed he is, how he simply brushes things off his shoulder and has a smile on his face even at the most stressful of times. Sometimes I’d like to kill him for it, but most of the time, it has more of a calming effect on me.

Husband continued the conversation, much to my amusement. “Cool. If I had to pick one thing to be jealous of about you, it’d be your drive. But I guess you can’t really have drive and not give a shit…Guess that’s why we work so good together.”

I smiled and remembered the time a few days ago he told somebody that I was “stubborn,“hard-headed” and that “She gets everything she wants.”  He was trying to play it off as if this was a nuisance, but his signature big-ass smile gave him away.

Husband knows all too well that if I really want and set my mind to something, dammit, it’s going to happen. (Whether this is more of a fault or a positive attribute is questionable.) But even though I am having the time of my life right now, I will admit that being so driven does sometimes get me in over my head. Right now, for instance. I’m currently taking 15 hours of course work, working part-time, mentoring, working out over three hours a week, rehearsing for a play, constantly diving headfirst into new projects+adventures and still attempting to be a decent wife, house-owner and friend. I love being busy and I’m hands down the happiest I’ve ever been, but I am often exhausted. Succeeding in life has never been a huge fear of mine, simply because I’m one of those crazies who would at least kill myself trying. The faith my husband, friends and family has in me doesn’t hurt either. But I am worried about breathing. Remembering to breathe. I kind of suck at that.

These are the moments when I have to act less like me and more like Robby. He’s great at remembering to breathe. So today I went to Home Depot. This is a very Robby thing to do! Yes. So I went to Home Depot and I bought a begonia and I bought a cayenne pepper plant. I’m going to start gardening. Or I’m going to try. I’d be lying if I said this had nothing to do with conquering a goal and getting something I want out of the deal. One of my new years resolutions is to start a new hobby. But this is something different for me. Something more calm and meditative. A hobby that will allow me to think, and enjoy my alone time and to breathe. Something that has the possibility to inspire and create without going a million miles an hour. I could hate it, It is very possibly one of my shorter-lived projects and I’ll more than likely kill every plant I attempt to grow. But I figure it’s worth a try. So here I am. Starting with cayenne. 

17 thoughts on “Starting with Cayenne.

      • took me years to learn to garden and there are still somethings which i can’t manage. I can’t remember if begonias prefer light or shade – so check the tag/stick that came with it. or, if that’s gone, google it.

        peppers like LOTS of sunshine – just keep them hydrated.

  1. Gardening is a GREAT new hobby! But of course it is something you have to learn how to do, and you make a lot of mistakes along the way. (I certainly did. And still do…) Like leendadll, I don’t know much about begonias, but yeah, peppers love the sun, need watering in dry spells, and do well if you give them a spot that’s two or three feet around. Do you have a garden plot, or are these going in containers?

  2. This may sound dumb and VERY old lady of me (both, true…) but I took 28 hours of courses one semester, I *never* took under 22 and I worked (I didn’t mentor as such but I did “babysit” a Very Troubled Sister all those years–when I moved to France, she tried to kill herself, so I’m not exaggerating the “very troubled” part).

    I could NOT do that NOW. I’m too damned old. My brain cells don’t function as well and let’s face it, you’ve got HGH going for you til around age 24. Get it all DONE NOW! 🙂

    BTW, I graduated highest in my class and that’s from a snobby school that calculated an A being from 96%-100% (harder to make an A), so I wasn’t slacking! I did a minimum of 6 hours of working out a week then, too (30mins AM / 30mins PM), sometimes more. I’m a NUTBALL when it comes to fitness (and proof I can never burn off all that I can eat)–I *love* it. I’m very high-strung and it takes the edge off. You’re amazing and everything you do is bettering your life and lives around you. Just keep at it while you can!

    • 28 hours! I’ve heard that my school won’t even allow more than 21 haha. Next year I’m shooting for 18, and this scares me. You will be my inspiration!

      And you’re quite amazing yourself, lady! 🙂

  3. I had a ridiculous university schedule too. I worked 2 on campus jobs, 1-2 off campus, took full course loads, and volunteered my booty off. LOL. Fast-paced can really be a lot of fun, and feel GOOD. But you’re RIGHT. You’re seeing it early enough. You DO need to breathe. Awesome that you found a way to do it.
    I tried my hand at gardening in my last year or so of university, and I LOVED it. I even cut the grass and weeded. Hahaha. And hey… It makes a girl feel good, knowing that she’s self-sufficient (even if there’s someone else around to do things).

    Enjoy your plants!

  4. I love that you’re going to start gardening, it’s a lovely thing to do! I can’t wait to see the process 🙂 I’m sure it will feel like both a calming and positive thing to do.

    I’ve always admired your drive! You are incredibly determined and motivated and I think it’s fantastic. I used to be a little more like that until my condition got worse and then I had to learn to remember to breathe.

    You’re an inspiration Christina! ❤

  5. You go, girl! You will grow the best cayenne pepper ever. 😉 Also, you and your husband kind of mirror my husband and I. He’s the laid back one who can let anything roll off his shoulders while I’m very similar to you with your drive. And like you guys, the combination is great. I have learned so much from him about just sitting back and taking a moment to chill… so good to have him in my life to balance me out. 🙂

  6. No joke..I went to a nursery today (which I will be blogging about next) and gushed at the ideas and plants and fun stuff they had. I then went to Home Depot as well, and bought some soil to plant garlic. I want a garden soososoo bad!! Good luck to the both of us!

  7. As a fellow member of the stubborn club, I’m going to say YES, it is a positive attribute! And good place to start–peppers are SO easy to grow (at least around here). I had ONE banana pepper plant last summer, and it produced peppers in about three cycles, and each time was more than me + roommates could eat.

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