“She just wanted to stay out and go to a concert or go to a club or go to a play or play the jukebox or play pool or play charades or play an instrument or learn an instrument or learn a foreign language or apply for a Fulbright because….because…..Because why not? I was charmed and scared……Sophie’s lust for life scared the ever-loving shit out of me.”
I couldn’t help but giggle and doggy-ear the page of my newest read “My Lush Sobriety” (By Sasha Z. Scoblic) because I feel like I am Sophie, and I’d be willing to bet that I do simultaneously charm/scare the ever-loving shit out of my friends sometimes. I’ve been told so in lesser words.
I honestly do want to do everything. More than that, I think that I need to do everything. It’s possible that I may have a serious addiction to life and it’s opportunities. (It’s an addiction that I don’t really mind having) Just this week, for example. This morning I took my first ever Zumba class (I believe I was the only white girl present and this was obvious by my dancing skills. Still, I was sweating and smiling and can’t wait to go back next week.) and volunteered at my local animal shelter later in the afternoon. (I’m in love with a couple of the dogs already and have to remind myself frequently how little bed space I have with just two canines and a husband.) After that, I set up an orientation to volunteer at a local children’s counseling center. (Exciting : 1. Because helping kids is something I’m passionate about and 2. As somebody who may want to pursue a future career in counseling, it’ll be amazing for a resume.) A day before that, I signed up for a meetup group which guides people wanting to learn conversational Spanish (I was reminded after reading the above quote about Sophie, that I too really want to be fluent in another language.) Florida is only a few weeks out now. I found out a few days ago that my best friend and I are definitely traveling to New York together this summer. (CAN’T WAIT!) I’ve set up a couple of other things for the coming up weeks that I’m super excited about, but those are surprises so I don’t jinx them or anything.
(Meet my new doggy friend.)
My husband lovingly told me the other day that I was crazy. I was telling him about one of my latest endeavors, and, with his calm and mild personality, I think he may have been a little confused. My lust for life probably scares the ever-loving shit out of him too. I’m not exactly sure why I have this appetite to do everything. Was I born with it? Does it stem from my sheltered childhood? Has college and adulthood brought on this fascination with wanting to do everything? I really don’t know, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. This need I have to meet every person and try every new thing and drink coffee at every coffee shop and sip every wine and travel the world and befriend an enemy and smile at strangers and go on every adventure and learn everything I possibly can and then some? Well. These desires make me exceedingly happy. My best friend and I were in the car listening to one of her rap song c.d.’s the other day and she randomly told me, “This song makes me think of you.” I am really bad at interpreting rap music so I was already lost and quickly asked,“Why?!” Best friend responded with,“Because. You’re always on the pursuit of happiness.” Turns out the rap song I couldn’t for the life of me understand was titled “The pursuit of happiness.” And this made me smile. Because my best friend completely understands me. Because pursuing happiness is what makes me a constantly,always happy girl. Because, on this pursuit, I am learning and living and gaining more experiences than I can probably even fathom at twenty-three years old. But I figure I’ll look back one day around 95 or so and think to myself, “Dude. That was the time of my life.” And I plan on making the time of my life, and all of the adventures and joys that come with it, last as many decades as I possibly can.